


Sugar, we're going down

by Kristeristerin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Requited Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 17:31:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18451295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kristeristerin/pseuds/Kristeristerin
Summary: Thorfinn was perfectly content with the relationship that had. Did she really need to bring feelings into it?





	Sugar, we're going down

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sing-Me-A-Rare Volume 3. Much love to my Beta and Alpha who shall remain nameless for the moment
> 
> Song Prompt - Sugar, We're going down  
> Fall Out Boy

It was another Wednesday night, and once again he found her in his bed. It’d become a habit for the two of them to spend Wednesday nights with takeout and fire whiskey before he inevitably kissed her. Soon they always seemed to find themselves pulling at each other’s clothing as they blindly stumbled down the hall toward his bedroom.

This week though, something felt different when they finished. Sure, Hermione still looked satisfied, but the way she bit her lower lip made him increasingly anxious. Something was on her mind, and Thorfinn knew he wasn’t going to like it.

Sighing, he turned to face her and propped himself up on his elbow. “Knut for your thoughts, sugar?”

She rolled her eyes at the pet name but stopped chewing her lip. “Do you-” she paused. “Would you want to go out next Wednesday? Maybe get dinner and walk around Diagon Alley together?”

“You mean-” he cleared his throat, “You mean like a proper date?”

She looked away, suddenly finding the way her bra was hanging from his dresser interesting. “I was hoping so, yes.” When she finally looked back at him her eyes were glassy as she braced herself for the coming rejection.

He sat up and ran a hand through his long blond hair. “Dammit, Hermione. We’ve talked about this. I’m not looking for a relationship. Isn’t it enough that we aren’t sleeping with other people?”

She stared at him incredulously. “Isn’t that enough?” Hermione shook her head, “No, Thorfinn Rowle, it’s not enough. It may have been enough at one time, months ago, but not now.” Standing, she picked her underwear up from where they’d been discarded on the floor and pulled them on. Once she was finished with that, she walked to the dresser and did the same with her bra.

He came to stand behind her, looking at the two of them in the mirror he asked the question that he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to. “What changed?”

She whirled around and stared at him for a long moment. “You know damn well what changed.”

The fire in her eyes was part of the reason he seemed always to find himself riling her up. When she was over, he’d find any way he could make her look at him this way, and then she’d punish him for it. She’d punish him in the most delicious ways. Now though, he knew nothing good would come from the fire that burned in her amber eyes.

Attempting to calm her ire he reached a hand out to her. “Hermione, do we really have to ruin a good thing over whatever this is?”

She didn’t answer, just pushing past him to pick her shirt up from the floor. Once it was on, she rounded on him again. “You’re right,” she said flatly, “why ruin good sex, hell great sex, with something as trivial as feelings?”

He threw his hands up in defeat, “I’m not going to tell you something that you want to hear just because it’s the mood you’re in this week.”

Hermione rolled her eyes and began to search for her discarded jeans. She found them in the hallway, and quickly pulled them on.

Thorfinn continued to follow her as she made her way toward his front door. Once she was dressed entirely and held her purse close to her, she turned back toward him. “I’m sorry that I thought I could be more than just a notch in your bedpost. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you.”

“I told you before, Hermione, when I fall I’m gonna go down swinging.”

She nodded her head. “Well, I never promised to be there to catch you when you go down. I hope you have a happy life, Thorfinn.”

He watched dumbstruck as she turned and left, slamming the door behind her.

 

* * *

 

The following Wednesday Thorfinn had prepared for Hermione’s arrival by picking up dinner from her favourite chip shop, even though that meant he had to go into the muggle city.  An hour past her usual arrival time, he felt his stomach begin to rumble and decided to eat his dinner. The stasis charm had kept it piping hot, but it wasn’t the same without her banter. She wasn't usually late, he decided he’d definitely tease her about this later.

Another hour had passed, and he was long finished with his dinner when it first occurred to him that she may not be coming. As the time ticked by, his agitation grew. Surely she wouldn't stand him up because of their fight, would she?

When one more hour had passed, Thorfinn was seeing red. How dare she be so inconsiderate and waste the time he'd set aside to spend with her! He threw her meal against the wall before sulking off to bed alone.

Another three weeks of Wednesday nights were spent alone before he decided he could no longer take it. Walking into the Leaky Caldron, he felt like this was precisely what he needed. After downing his first fire whiskey in one drink, he ordered two more. He casually sipped one while surveying the room.

There wasn’t too much going on tonight. Just a couple of groups likely meeting for drinks after work. He sighed noting there were no even moderately attractive witches to pick up here tonight. He quickly drank his third glass of whiskey and was just about to pay his tab and try his luck somewhere else when she walked in.

He’d tried not to stare, but truth be told he’d missed her more than he ever cared to admit to himself. She’d settled down in the back corner booth, pulled out a book, and began to read.

“Typical Hermione,” he mumbled to himself. The twitch of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He watched her for several minutes before he’d gotten the courage to approach her. Taking a deep breath, he ordered another fire whiskey, as well as a fruity drink he knew she liked and started to walk over to her.

Thorfinn stopped in his tracks when she was approached by a man with long red hair. It only took seeing the scar that ran down the man’s face to cause him to groan, she was on a date with Bill-fucking-Weasley.

Thinking quickly, Thorfinn turned and made a beeline back to the bar. He found a stool that gave him a perfect sight of the couple without being able to be seen himself. As he watched them his heart ached. He should be the one there with her. The one making her throw her head back in laughter and bite her lip nervously. He shook his head and finished the fruity cocktail before ordering another fire whiskey.

He knew he should leave, but he couldn’t help but watch the two interact. Hermione was now leaning close to Bill with her hand on his forearm listening intently to whatever he was saying, and his hand was resting on her upper thigh. She looked happy, perhaps the happiest he’d ever seen her.

As he watched he imagined a scene were he approached them and told her just how wrong he was. Not sleeping with other people wasn’t enough. He missed her. Everything about her. In his reverie, she would abandon her date and snog him silly for everyone to see. Sighing, Thorfinn finished his final drink and closed his tab. It was time to go home. Alone.

After paying his tab, Thorfinn waited until the barman wasn’t paying attention and nicked a bottle from the shelf behind the bar. After leaving a tip that was more than enough to cover the stolen booze, he made his way out into the warm evening.

He wasn’t sure how, but some time later he found that he’d stumbled his way into the cemetery that was close to Hermione’s apartment. Pulling the bottle of fire whiskey from his pocket, he opened it and took a large swig.

Thorfinn sat and began to wonder how he’d ended up here. Just last month he’d been happy. Now he’s alone, drunk off his arse leaning against a mausoleum. What had changed?

Letting himself fall over into the grass, he let out a humourless laugh. That’s the exact same question he’d asked her before she’d left him, and she’d been right he’d known things were changing between them.

At first, it seemed harmless to go along with what she wanted. He didn’t mind holding her after sex, and if he let her cuddle up to him when they sat on his couch, he just told himself it was because she was cold. The first time she mentioned making things official he’d been caught off guard.

Closing his eyes, he took another drink. There was a part of him that always knew he’d be going into dangerous territory by leading her on, and that’s exactly what he had been doing. Now though, he couldn’t figure out just why seeing her with Weasley bothered him so much.

Sure she was supposed to be his, but he didn’t have an official claim to her, and that’s how he preferred it. Wasn’t it?

Thorfinn suddenly sat up so quickly that his head began to spin. That was it, he wanted her. He needed to go back to the bar. Her date be damned, she needed to know that he was in love with her.

When Thorfinn tried to stand up, he began to regret the extra fire whiskey he’d had. He tried to pull himself up using the stone building to push up against, but his legs wouldn’t cooperate. Finally giving up, he let himself fall against the cold stone. He took one more drink from the bottle before letting it slip from his fingers. It crashed against the base of the mausoleum and shattered.

The next thing he knew, Hermione was there bending down to get a better look at him.

“Finn? Are you alright?”

“Oh, Hey Sugar,” he gave her a dazed smile. “I’m f-f-fine,” he started to fall over as his words slurred.

“Good Gods,” her eyes widened, “Are you drunk? How much have you had to drink?”

He shrugged. “Stopped counting.”

Hermione turned to where Bill had followed behind her and gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I should probably see that he gets home safely. I’ll owl you later?”

He eyed her warily but didn’t say anything when she took Thorfinn’s hand. “Are you ready?” she asked the burly wizard. He merely nodded in response.

* * *

 

Once at his flat, Hermione managed to help him down the hall, their struggle mirroring how they looked the times they went made the same treck while lost in the throes of passion. This time, however, they were both fully dressed when he landed in the bed. She made him drink a sober up potion before laying down, but she doubted it would sober him all the way up.

No sooner had his head hit the pillow that she could hear his soft snoring. Shaking her head, Hermione pulled his boots and socks from his feet, before using her wand to vanish his pants and shirt to the laundry. She stood there staring at him for a moment, before leaving the room to get a hangover potion, a pen, and a piece of paper.

Setting the potion on his nightstand, she sat on the edge of his bed and quickly scribbled a note to let him know she’s the one who brought him home. Just as she finished and was about to get up and leave she felt a strong hand wrap around her wrist.

“Please stay,” his voice was quiet, barely a whisper.

She turned to see him looking up at her longingly. This was a look she’d seen more than once, times like this she thought it was possible maybe he loved her too.

Hermione shook her head, “I’m not sleeping with you, Thorfinn. It’s not what I want anymore. I want a real relationship. I need a real relationship.”

“No sex,” he shook his head, “but please stay.”

Something in the sadness of his voice broke her heart. She looked at him for a long minute before relenting. She slipped off her shoes and pants before sliding into the bed facing away from him. Hermione let out a small squeak when he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to him.

They laid there in silence for several minutes, so long that she was convinced he’d fallen asleep.

“I’m sorry.”

His voice in the darkness of the bedroom caused her to jump. “For what?” she asked after another moment.

“For ruining your date,” he sighed, “I should have left as soon as I saw you, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop watching you, and the more I watched, the more I drank. Is it fucked up that I wished I was Bill Weasley?” He laughed sardonically. She remained silent. He figured she wasn’t going to answer when she suddenly turned to face him.

“It wasn’t a date,” she said, “Bill has been helping me with a project for the ministry. He’s been a liaison between the Goblins and me. They aren’t exactly my biggest fans.” She laughed. After another moment she reached up and cupped his cheek. “Why did you wish you were Bill?”

Thorfinn shook his head, was she really going to make him say it? He supposed he owed it to her. Putting a finger under her chin, he angled her face up so he could look into her eyes. “I’ve missed you, Hermione. Gods, I’ve missed you. When you didn’t come over the Wednesday after our fight, I was so angry at you. I was pissed that you’d ruined the great thing we had.”

She stiffened beside him.

“It took me nearly two more weeks to realise I was mad at the wrong person,” he rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “I’m the one who ruined it, and I’m sorry. I understand if you no longer want to see me, but if you give me another chance, I swear to you, Hermione, I will be whatever you want me to be.”

She looked away from him, “and you’re certain that you won’t change your mind when you’ve sobered up tomorrow?”

He leaned in closer, causing her to look back at him. Thorfinn pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss. “You’re more than I bargained for, and I’m not giving you up again.”


End file.
